Why Am I Horny? — And What To Do About It

3 minute read

If you’re like most humans, you have felt horny before. Perhaps you feel horny once a week, once a month, or once every second of the day. There are reasons you feel horny, and things you can do to control your horniness, or make it stop. Feeling horny is just a part of life and it’s totally normal.

Why do we get horny / Why do people get horny

Feeling sexually aroused, aka horny, can be an overwhelming sensation. But why do we get horny? People get horny because they saw, heard, or thought about something that turns them on. People also may feel horny because they are stressed and their body is wanting an energy release. 

When the body thinks it’s going to get it on, it starts physically preparing for sex. Hormones, such as oxytocin, adrenaline, and dopamine are released, and you may feel a tingling sensation in your genitals and erogenous zones.

What does being horny feel like?

When your body gets turned on or sexually aroused, you may experience certain feelings and sensations. Because blood flows to the genitals when you get horny, you may feel a tingling sensation in your genitals. Your nipples may get hard, and your breathing may quicken. You may feel restless and have a butterfly sensation in your stomach. Being horny can feel different for different people.

How to get horny

There are few ways you can make yourself horny. Here a just a few tips on how to turn yourself on. 

  • Visual or audio stimulation. Watch or listen to a steamy scene from a movie or television show, porn, look at sexy pictures, or watch a partner do something that turns you on.  
  • Erotica. Read or listen to erotica to get yourself in the mood. 
  • Fantasize. Use your imagination to think of scenarios or people that get you excited. 
  • Masturbation. Touch yourself in ways that feel good. 
  • Sexual touch. Oral sex, hand play, dirty talking or role playing are all good ways to get horny with a partner.
Things that will make you horny

Different things make different people feel horny. For some, visual or audio stimulation can be a turn on. That can be listening to or reading erotica, looking at porn, a sexy movie or picture, or listening to a sexy voice. Others might feel horny when they smell or touch something that reminds them of sex. It can be all of those things. Physical stimulation, like masturbation, foreplay, or a sensual massage, can also make you feel horny.

What to do when you are horny

There are a few things you can do when you are horny. Masturbation is a good way to release sexual energy. It’s also a good way to experiment with your body to see what you do and don’t like. While masturbating, you can watch porn, read or listen to erotica, or use your imagination. You can also involve a consenting partner by sexting them, having phone sex, or having sex with them.

How to stop being horny

Feeling horny doesn’t always happen at convenient times or places. If you’re wondering how to stop being horny without masturbating or having sex, here are a few tips: 

  • Redirect thinking. Concentrate on something you don’t find remotely sexual — perhaps a movie you like. 
  • Exercise. This can be a good way to expel excess sexual energy.
  • Cold shower. This can shock your body into feeling a totally different sensation. 
  • Meditate. Meditation and breathing practices can help relax the body and refocus energy. 
  • Comedy. Listen or watch stand-up comedy to take your mind off sexual urges. Watching a scary movie also works.
What happens when girls get horny?

When a person of any gender gets horny, they generally feel aroused and ready for sex, whether with masturbation, or a partner. There are a few things that happen when a girl gets horny. Note that for the sake of this question, we are defining “girl” as a cis-female person, though many people outside that box may identify as “girl.” 

Her nipples may become erect, blood may flow to her genitals, causing the clitoris and labia to engorge and enlarge. This may cause a girl to feel a literal tingle in that region. Her body may produce natural lubricant, making her vagina wet.

Why do I get hornier before my period?

If you’ve noticed feeling hornier before your period, you’re not alone. It could be due to hormone changes around your period and when your body is getting ready to ovulate. Ovulation is also when you’re most fertile, so your brain is getting ready for reproduction. Before your period, you also may have more discharge, a natural lubricant. Pre-period bloating can also put pressure on your pelvis area and G-spot.

It’s totally normal to feel horny, but different people feel horny at different intensities and rates. Sometimes, just understanding why you’re horny and what to do about it, can help. Just keep in mind that “getting rid” of horniness can be a whole lot of fun!

Louise Bourchier, MPH

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Louise Bourchier is a sex educator and sex researcher with 8 years experience in the field. She teaches about sexual health, sexual pleasure, and communication in relationships through workshops, live-streams, and with written content. Using a sex-positive approach, a dash of humour, and bag full of fun props, Louise’s style of sex education for adults is not what you got in high school! Since 2011 she has taught over a hundred workshops to a wide range of audiences, from university students, to refugees, to medical professionals, to adult store clientele. She has a Masters of Public Health, and is currently a PhD candidate.

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