Sex after having a child can be a physically and emotionally complicated experience.
In this stream, pleasure professional Lucia Pavone explains how to approach sex after birth. Her tips are especially useful for those who have given vaginal birth or had a Cesarean section, though she addresses adoptive parents as well.
Pavone speaks to her personal post-Cesarean experience and how the physical changes — she lost sensation in her genitals for a year — affected her emotionally. Such changes, plus having to figure out logistics such as who will put the baby to bed, who will feed the baby, etc., can drastically alter your sex life.
Pavone says it’s important for new parents to relearn the concepts around sex versus sensuality,” and to be deliberate and patient about intimate experiences.
“So sensual touch is a wonderful way to connect and stay connected during that time where having intercourse or oral sex is not gonna be an option for a while because we're adjusting to our new bodies,” she says.
Pavone notes that relearning your body is not just a job for you, but for your partner as well. Things that used to work in bed may not anymore, and needs, wants, and desires may have changed. Figure these things out through communication and exploration.
Pavone goes on to answer many questions about sex after childbirth, such as if it hurts, what happens to your genitals after a vaginal or Cessarean birth, what happens if you have perineal tearing, how to manage privacy with kids around, etc. She reminds us that the most important thing is to be kind to yourself and to not feel pressure to engage in any act before you’re physically and emotionally ready.