Can I Get Addicted To My Vibrator?

Do you have trouble cumming with partners? Worried that you might be addicted to your vibrator? Tune into this stream to learn the pleasure mechanics of arousal, myth-bust masturbation and get a tour of the clitoris!

Can I Get Addicted To My Vibrator?

Can I Get Addicted To My Vibrator?

Can I Get Addicted To My Vibrator?

Updated
August 6, 2019
Medically Reviewed by
3 minute read

A vibrator can be a “great tool for finding freedom in pleasure, for stepping into your desires,” says sex educator Kait Scalisi. But you might be wondering, “Can I get addicted to my vibrator?” 

The answer is no. In this stream, Scalisi tells us why vibrator addiction is a myth perpetuated by the media and societal messages around pleasure. 

Despite what the Rabbit episode in Sex and the City might have us believe, you can’t get addicted to your vibrator. On the contrary, sex toys benefit us because they make it easier to get aroused and orgasm, and they increase sexual satisfaction. While there are some negative sides to using toys — desensitization, numbness, irritation, swelling or pain, or tearing — those effects are not long-lasting. These things might also be caused by the toy’s material, so be sure to get a toy made of body-safe materials, such as 100% silicone or 100% plastic. The wrong kind of lube, or using incorrect substances to clean a toy, can also cause irritation. Notice, however, addiction is not listed as a negative side effect of a vibrator. 

Society also perpetuates myths about vibrator addiction as a way to shame women and fems who control their own pleasure experiences. Societal messages tells us women need a partner to give them pleasure. But as Scalisi points out, “orgasms aren’t given, they’re self-made.” A toy is an aid, but ultimately, your body is producing the orgasm, not the toy. “And so if you can give all that pleasure to yourself, then why would you need a partner, right? These are some of the fears that are behind this language [...],” says Scalisi.  

Another reason people may think vibrator addiction is a thing is because we tend to have a hierarchy around orgasm. For whatever reason, we think orgasming from fingers or a penis is totally fine, but if you need a toy, there’s something wrong with you. This is absolutely not true as every body is different. “So toys can't ruin you because you can't be ruined. That whole idea is a myth. And toys let you take back your pleasure,” says Scalisi. “They're fun.” 

While you can’t get addicted to a vibrator, you can become reliant on it as a shortcut to pleasure. You can get out of this rut by retraining your body to experience orgasm in other ways. “Whether that's with different toys, on different speeds, with your fingers, during intercourse, etc.” All that said, if the toy is working for you, there’s no reason to change your pattern unless you genuinely want to. 

Even if you use your vibrator all day, every day, you are not addicted to the toy. You might be dependent on it for the orgasm your body is producing, but there are ways to retrain your brain to seek pleasure elsewhere if that’s the case. Either way, we need to stop perpetuating myths that vibrator addiction is a thing, and instead encourage people to take control of how and when they experience pleasure.

Kait Scalisi

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Kait Scalisi, MPH, is a certified sex educator and the founder of Passion by Kait, an award-winning sex blog. Through her writing, workshops and counseling, Kait empowers clients to create the sex lives they desire. Kait’s  neuroscience and public health background, as well as her experience as a person with disabilities, provides clients with a unique perspective on what it really takes to keep the spark alive—no matter what life throws at them.

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