F*ck Lube Shame! Why You Need It

F*ck lube shame—lube is the actual BEST. Sex educator Jess tells you why it's awesomesauce, which brands and formulas to buy and how to use it.

F*ck Lube Shame! Why You Need It

F*ck Lube Shame! Why You Need It

F*ck Lube Shame! Why You Need It

2 minute read

Sex sometimes requires more than just our body parts. We often need additional aids to make the experience a bit more, how shall we say it? Slippery. 

In this stream, sex educator Jess Melendez tells us all about lube and why we shouldn’t feel ashamed to make it a bedroom guest regular. 

There are so many misconceptions and myths about lube. The biggest being that if you need it, there’s something wrong with your body. 

“I'm here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with your body,” says Melendez. “If you wanna use lubricant, that is super rad, okay?” 

All bodies are different. For example, some vagina-owners may get more wet than others; some may hardly get wet at all. There’s a whole lot of factors that can contribute to this — diet, hormonal birth control, water intake, menopause, etc. “Whatever reason you choose to use lube is totally fine,” says Melendez. 

How should I pick a lube?

  • Water-based lube does it all: penetration, masturbation, works with condoms and sex toys.
  • Silicone-based lube is long-lasting, great for water play but should not be used with silicone-based sex toys.
  • Oil-based lube is great for masturbation and water-play and sensual massage but should not be used with latex condoms or latex sex toys.
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For people who are sensitive or prone to infections such as UTIs or yeast infections, Melendez recommends a water-based lube that’s glycerin-free like Sliquid H20. She also recommends avoiding ingredients like parabens as a general rule. Water-based liquid lubes are great for the vagina, or on barriers such as a condom or dental dam, but not for the anus because it’s too thin. For that, you’ll want something more viscous that’ll last longer, like Slippery Stuff, a water-based gel. 

If you want to try a silicone lube, which is waterproof and hypoallergenic, she suggests Pjur. It lasts a long time, and is good for people who are sensitive to certain ingredients as it’s also glycerin and paraben-free. Because it doesn’t have an odor or taste, it can also be great for oral sex. 

Melendez goes on to discuss different types of lubes and ingredients, whether they be liquid, oil, silicone, cream, or even virgin unbleached coconut oil. There are so many choices on the market, and she encourages you to go to your local sex shop to try testers to find the consistency, smell and taste that works best for you.

Jess Melendez

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Pleasure Pro Jess teaches, among other topics, LGBTQ sex and pleasure education at O.school. Her time at an adult toy store has taught her how to facilitate shame-free conversations about pleasure, and today, working with folks to unlearn shame is Jess's aim in all her education work. She also teaches comprehensive sex education to youth.

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