Fingering 101

Finesse your fingering skills in this live stream! Good finger sex is super hot. Get the facts on vulva anatomy and how to explore the sweet spots with your fingers and guide your partners there. You'll get tips on technique, communication and safety.

Fingering 101

Fingering 101

Fingering 101

Updated
August 15, 2019
Medically Reviewed by
3 minute read

If you’ve ever fingered yourself, been fingered, or fingered another person, you might have some fingering techniques up your sleeve. There’s always more to learn, however. And if you don’t know the first thing about fingering at all, you’re in the right place.

In this stream, sex educator Q Wilson gives us the low-down on fingering — how to communicate what you want, techniques to try, and how to get the most pleasure out of the experience.

Before anyone gets to the fingering, there are a few things that need to happen. First, make sure all parties involved are consenting. Have a conversation about what you want and what you’re comfortable with. Second, if you’re the one doing the fingering, make sure everything’s hygienic — wash your hands, clip your nails, or use a barrier like a glove to prevent bacteria from entering the vagina. Third, if you’re the one getting fingered,  communicate how you like to be fingered.

When it comes to actual fingering techniques, first make sure your partner is lubricated. Go slow and be gentle and watch for cues to see if they’re enjoying what you’re doing. Before going straight for the vaginal opening, try spending some time with the rest of the body, and if your partner is into clitoral stimulation, concentrate on the area — the clit is the little nub at the top of the inner lips of the vulva and has 8,000 nerve-endings. It’s very sensitive and can be an intense pleasure-center. When entering the vagina with fingers, make sure to communicate through the process so you can gauge the speed and pressure your partner likes. Watch to see what makes them moan, clench their fists, or curl their toes.

If they want G-spot stimulation, you can reach up to the G-spot, which is a walnut-shaped organ that’s on the anterior of the clitoris. Make a come hither motion with your fingers to feel the ridged tissue, about five centimeters inside the vaginal canal, toward the belly button. Giving lots of G-spot of clitoral stimulation with your fingers can make someone squirt or orgasm, but this shouldn’t be the goal of the session. Instead, just focus on giving them pleasure.

When you’re fingering your partner, you can think of their vaginal canal like a clock. Move your finger clockwise and stay on the areas your partner indicates they like, with their words or body language. Follow their movements and their body and incorporate asking what they like into your dirty talk. You can experiment with different speeds and pressures, and putting your finger in one knuckle deep, then all the way. Maybe your partner likes two or three fingers. Maybe they like being fisted. You can also stay outside the vaginal opening and concentrate on feeling around their vulva and running your fingers up and down it. You can try fingering your partner while another finger stimulates the clit. You can also incorporate sex toys to add vibration on the clit while you finger them.

There are so many ways to finger someone, but what works for one person may not work for another. It’s all about trying things out and listening to your partner and moving with your body. And if you’re the one being fingered, be vocal and say what you like. Advocate for your own pleasure. Fingering is a sexy activity that can be foreplay, but it can also be the main event — so just have fun with it.

Q Wilson

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Queer, gender-nonconforming and non-monogamous, Q is a certified sex educator and trainer, and social justice activist of 20 years. At O.school, Q streams on a wealth of topics, including building sexual confidence, consent, boundary-setting, pleasure, online dating  and communication.

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