If you or a partner is interested in exploring the prostate — how to make it feel good and ways to stimulate it — then you’re in the right place.
In this stream, dominatrix Mistress Mona Darling gives us the lowdown on prostate play.
The prostate is located just below the bladder and the size of half a walnut. You can reach it internally through the anus, or externally by putting a bit of pressure on the base of the penis or the perineum — the space between the balls and anus — also known as the taint or gooch. The prostate is flat, but the more turned on your partner gets, the more firm and engorged it can become. Some people like a lot of pressure, some like a little, some like tongue, fingers, toys, or all of the above. Sometimes what you like varies from minute to minute. Stimulating the prostate, or the A-spot, can make orgasms that much more intense, so it’s important to communicate with your partner to see how they like their A-spot (or male G-spot) touched.
If your partner is closed up and you’re having trouble getting access, try to help them relax. Use lube and gently rub the anus from the outside with fingers or tongue until you can slowly wiggle a finger in there. If you are interested in toys to stimulate the prostate, vibrators can feel very nice on the perineum or inside through the anus. You can also try a butt plug to put pressure on the prostate and give you a feeling of fullness. Mistress Mona recommends the Aneros, which is a toy designed to hit the prostate in two places, and can have a built in vibrator. You could also try the We Vibe, which is a couple’s vibrator designed for the woman to wear inside her vagina to stimulate her clit, but allows for penetration. A prostate owner can also put it inside the anus up against the prostate.
While there’s all kinds of ways to stimulate the prostate, it’s equally important to note the types of experiences such stimulation can induce. It can be a vulnerable and connecting act, it can make a prostate owner feel a little more submissive, more masculine, more feminine — it’s different for everyone. Ask your partner what kind of mindset they’d like to be in, then play into that with the way you penetrate them, your dirty talk, role play, etc. For example, if your partner wants to make prostate play part of BDSM to feel humiliated and submissive, you can do various things to assert power over them, call them names, penetrate them with a strap on, incorporate cock and ball torture — whatever you both are into. If the act is meant to be more sensual, however, that, of course, takes on an entirely different context and can be slower and romantic.
Prostate play can be a connecting experience for you and your partner, and make orgasms that much stronger. Talk to your partner, or explore yourself, to see how the prostate can be touched and stimulated. Communication is always key for having the best, most positive sexual experiences.