At some point, you’ve probably heard the term “deep throating.” Maybe you’ve heard jokes about it or maybe you’ve even seen it in porn. But what exactly is it? And why do people do it? Consider this your go-to guide for all things deep throating.

What Even Is Deep Throating?

In the most basic terms, deep throating refers to the giver of a blowjob taking a penis (or dildo) all the way to the base, which generally means it hits the back of the throat, or even slides down the throat a bit—hence the name.

Although in some circles it’s treated like the ultimate blowjob move, for most people it’s tricky to do, or takes a lot of working up to. Putting anything that deep in your throat engages the gag reflex, which makes many people cough, or in extreme cases even throw up. Deep throating can also close off your airways... so it should be approached with caution!

Although in some circles it’s treated like the ultimate blow job move, for most people it’s tricky to do, or takes a lot of working up to.

While it can be a fun BJ option, it’s also good to keep in mind that deep throating isn’t the be-all, end-all of oral sex. Plenty of great blow jobs only focus on the tip of the penis, or maybe an inch or two of the shaft, while incorporating hands or other toys to stimulate the rest of the penis. So if it’s not for you, that’s totally okay—there are lots of ways to make a penis feel good.

Why Do People Like Deep Throating?

With all that gagging and choking in mind, why do people do it? Well, for the receiver, it can be enjoyable because it can engage all the senses. The contractions of the throat can squeeze the penis in a way many people find pleasurable. And the sounds of the choking, as well as the additional spit produced, can contribute to the “messy blow job” vibe that can also be a big turn on.

So what’s in it for the person doing the deep throating? Well, for some people the choking and gagging is actually part of the appeal, and some people simply enjoy the sensation. The same feeling of fullness some people enjoy in their ass or vagina is experienced for some folks by fullness in their mouth and throat. The Giver may also enjoy how much pleasure their partner gets from from it.  

From both sides, deep throating can be exciting for the power exchange aspects, or for the intensity.

From both sides, deep throating can be exciting for its intensity and power exchange aspects—and that power might not always flow the way you’d think. While The Receiver of a deep-throating session may seem like the more powerful and dominant partner, giving such intense pleasure can also feel incredibly powerful. Even without elements of dominance and submission, deep throating involves a lot of trust, which can build intimacy and connection.

Deep throating is often associated with rough sex, where the receiver is thrusting, holding the giver’s head, or pulling the giver’s hair. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s just as likely something the giver chooses to do on their own. And whether associated with a power dynamic or not, some people just like the challenge. Because it’s a skill that takes some working up to, many people enjoy the feeling of pushing their bodies and also showing their partner some intense effort.

And remember, as with any sex act, communication is key—before, during and after deep-throating. During oral sex on a penis, when the mouth is occupied, talking about boundaries and desires before engaging in sex is especially important. Plus, The Receiver should pay extra attention to The Giver’s body language during a deep-throating session, as well as checking in periodically to make sure everything is feeling a-okay on The Giver’s end.