The best blowjobs are the ones both giver and receiver enjoy equally. But what exactly is a blowjob and how do you give one? There is so much to learn about giving head, but at the end of the day, it’s most important to just remember to have fun in the process of doing any sexual act and to focus on if it’s making you and your partner(s) feel good.
A blowjob is oral sex performed on a penis. It involves using the lips, tongue, mouth, and sometimes throat to give sexual pleasure.
It’s not 100 percent clear where the name comes from, but it is thought the term originated from old slang related to ejaculating or to sex workers. Still it’s pretty confusing as to why it’s called a “blowjob” when only sucking is usually involved, and not blowing at all.
The best blowjobs are ones where both receiver and giver are having a great time. That’s why enthusiasm and sexy eye contact can go a long way. Start by teasing the head of the penis by kissing and licking. Put the head, and as much of the shaft as you’re comfortable with, in your mouth. Lick, gently suck, and move your lips up and down. Using your hand to stroke the shaft while using your mouth can also feel great for the receiver, plus using your hands is a great way to relax your jaw if it gets tired. Avoid teeth (unless your partner is into that)!
Politely ask! Reciprocity is also a good principle: if you want to receive oral sex it’s a good idea to offer it as well.
Warm, wet, intimate. Variations in tongue movement and sucking can mix up the sensations.
Some do, some don't But even if a woman loves giving head, she may only prefer giving it in some ways and not others. For example, she might like to do it for a short time but might dislike it if it goes on long enough to make her jaw hurt; she might be fine using her tongue and lips but not enjoy deepthroating. The best way to find out if a woman likes giving blowjobs is to ask her if and how she’s into giving head.
The pressure, suction, tongue, warmth and moisture can feel great on a penis! The visuals of watching your partner as they give you pleasure can also be a big part of the enjoyment.
There is no standard length of time for a blowjob. It could be just a few minutes or more than half an hour. As long as both people are enjoying it, it’s up to you how long you go for. A blowjob can end with ejaculation or by moving on to other activities.
Although many people try it, few can actually achieve it. Try these tips to see if you can suck your own dick:
- Work on your flexibility
- Get as hard as possible
- Try lying on your back and raising your legs up so your feet go over your shoulders
- Try sitting and bending forward
People with a slimmer body shape may have more success reaching their own penis with their mouth.
Yes. You can get infections such as herpes, gonorrhea and chlamydia from either giving or receiving a blowjob. So using a condom is a good idea.
Now that you know what a blowjob is and some tips on how to give one, you can get to doing some giving and/or receiving. While some people like blowjobs as a form of foreplay, leading to penetration, others like oral sex to be the main event. If and how you like giving or receiving head is entirely up to you.
Louise Bourchier, MPH
Louise Bourchier is a sex educator and sex researcher with 8 years experience in the field. She teaches about sexual health, sexual pleasure, and communication in relationships through workshops, live-streams, and with written content. Using a sex-positive approach, a dash of humour, and bag full of fun props, Louise’s style of sex education for adults is not what you got in high school! Since 2011 she has taught over a hundred workshops to a wide range of audiences, from university students, to refugees, to medical professionals, to adult store clientele. She has a Masters of Public Health, and is currently a PhD candidate.
