Unlike penetration with a toy or a penis, using your fingers to pleasure your partner can give you complete control over pressure and sensation. Here are a few tips and tricks to make fingering your partner’s pussy an experience neither of you will forget.
Before You Start Fingering
Make sure you’ve got your bases covered so you can finger your partner comfortably and safely.
Check that your nails are trimmed and smooth, with no sharp edges, in order to avoid accidentally scratching your partner mid-stroke. The inside and outside of the vagina can be a thrilling place to explore and create sensations, but it can also be particularly sensitive, so it’s important to keep those nails smooth.
Check that your nails are trimmed and smooth, with no sharp edges, in order to avoid accidentally scratching your partner mid-stroke.
Pro-tip: If you’ve got long fabulous nails that you don’t want to sacrifice, try stuffing cotton balls into the fingertips of a latex or vinyl glove to offer a barrier between your nails and your partner’s skin.
In addition to smooth nails, you’ll want to make sure that your partner is good and ready before you get started! This means either a) using lubricant to make penetration easier and more comfortable, or b) working to arouse them so that they’re naturally lubricated by the time you’re ready to start fingering.
Do Research: Ask Your Partner What Fingering Techniques They Like!
One of the great advantages to fingering versus, say, eating pussy, is that your partner may already know what type of touch they prefer through doing their own homework! Try asking:
- “Do you have a particular part of the clit you like rubbed, or a rhythm that works for you?”
- “How much penetration feels good, and how much is too much?”
- “Do you like to be teased, or edged?”
- “What gets you going?”
If your partner isn’t quite sure how to describe what they like, another great option is to have your partner show you what they like. Watching a partner masturbate can be super hot—and educational!
If your partner isn’t quite sure how to describe what they like, another great option is to have your partner show you what they like.
Knowing what your partner likes and how they like it will go a long way in making them wet enough for sexy penetration.
Pro-tip: If you or your partner is aroused and ready to go, but isn't quite wet just yet, that's totally normal! Just add lube!
Focus on the Clit
While easy g-spot access is one of the huge perks of fingering, be sure not to neglect the clitoris! You can cover all your bases by inserting one or two fingers (depending on what your partner likes)—your index and middle finger, for example—while using your thumb to lightly play with the clit. This is called double-stimulation, and many people find it extremely pleasurable.
Another technique for double-stimulation is using one hand to penetrate and the other to play with their clit, if you find it tiring or difficult to rely on just one hand.
When you find a rhythm that works for your partner, don’t stop! Keep building on their waves of pleasure until you feel them start to shudder. If their thighs begin to shake, they’re getting close! (Of course, if they don't quite make it to orgasm, that's perfectly normal. Fingering is all about having fun.)
If you find that you’re still struggling to maintain rhythm (after all, it can be challenging!), consider using a small bullet vibrator on your partner’s clitoris while you’re penetrating them with your fingers.
All of these techniques stand on their own, but they can also be great paired with eating pussy or anal play—the world is your oyster (to finger)!